MKE Week 22 – The Warrior

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When one faces the monster within, one engages the battle of the Spiritual Warrior. So begins the inner journey which alters all the outward reflections and choices and actions. The truth is brought forth from within.

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt. I would further that statement by saying that fear is created within our own self, and when we give it attention it grows, and yet we now know that negativity has no vitality – unless we feed it with our attention and angst (that is what allows fear and its accomplices to flourish). Fear does not exist whenever I am focused on who I be and where I’m going. In those moments, I am fully involved with the positive. Everybody knows that the positive has its own vitality.

Positivity allows us to grow into and become who we truly be and to move into our authentic selves.The entire universe is bathed in this positive charge. This positive charge is full potential. Silently awaiting the spark of an idea, which lights one’s heart afire, which then grows into enlivened thought, then it gathers momentum, enough momentum to act upon one’s wildest dreams until they appear in outward realization. Laser sharp focus, gratitude, persistence, enthusiasm, attention to what is good for the whole; all this perpetuates good.

The gift of giving is a hoop, the more I give, the more the Universe gifts back to me; in overflowing abundance. When I give to you from my heart, it is guaranteed to flow right back to me. I’ve realized that in giving to the Universal flow, it allows the water of life to ripple, burble and flow in myriad circles and those connecting circles flow lovingly back to me. Along the way I touch other’s lives and they touch mine. In that touching of lives goodness is exchanged. One is able to discover more deeply the gift of love through these exchanges. We are here to share our life with others. Together we entwine our fibers of life to create a rich tapestry, woven of our mingled life experiences. Love. That is why I’m here. That’s why you’re here. Hmmm, one of the many meanings of this beautiful thing we call Life!”

The Wheel of Life is a beautiful thing.

 

MKE Week 18 – A Virtuous Week

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These past few weeks I’ve been focusing, along with my fellow MKMMA students, for an entire week on a virtue, seeing it in myself and in others. It has lead me to have a closer look at the man who instigated this earnest inward gaze, Benjamin Franklin. I have had a look at Ben Franklin’s autobiography and I have learned that he was a man of amazing discipline.  I now know he observed and studied the character of people around him very well and  from that he created this set of virtues. I throughly appreciate Mr Franklin’s serious approach. I’m also impressed that he created this list of virtues and practiced his use  and awareness of each virtue by week  when he was only 20 years of age. Although it took a number of years more to hone down his list of the most important virtues to a mere 13.

I am enjoying the deepening wisdom I’ve gained going through each day in the role of witness and observer of my world. When I notice an opportunity to offer my service of enthusiasm (le mot du jour) I waste no time in reaching out with enthusiasm in the current situation.  For example, the kitchen floor had been in dire need of a sweep and mop. It had been passed over for a number of weeks on the house chores to do list. This afternoon when I got home from errands, I enthusiastically rolled up my sleeves, pulled out a brand new bucket, filled it up with hot  soapy water, put on some up beat music and got stuck in. Even my daughter got swept up with my enthusiasm and she enthusiastically cleared all the rugs and other floatsom and jetsam on the kitchen floor. As I type this email, the kitchen floor is drying and my cat Tamu is enthusiastically enjoying his food now placed in the living room! (3 ticks on my Saturday Virtue count!)

While I was surfing the net for some interesting pictures, I discovered this nifty Ben Franklin quiz. If you feel like checking how you’re doing with your virtuous make over hit the blue 13 Virtues Quiz and you can see how well you’re getting on. I was pleased that my Quiz informed me about was in track. Please leave me a comment how you fared on the quiz if you feel so inclined. 13 Virtues Quiz

bd563487-d96e-4b6f-9524-3decb8572f75-630-000000bb4128e06e_tmpI just would like you to consider that we in modern times have altered our focus and we need to take a moment to bow our heads in gratitude to know we are progressing as a species toward each one of us gaining access to the Universal Mind.

 

 

 

 

MKE Week 15 – A Divine Appointment and The Wonders of Having a Guide

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Tuesday morning, being the first day back to school, had a special air about it as I woke the kids for breakfast.  Although this day had been marked on my calendar as Big Day I was not yet aware that this day would prove to be a day of initiation and passage. I am ever thankful for the wise and guiding hand that Nancy held out to me, for without her witnessing my crossing, I might have chosen to wait a bit longer and given in to fear and perhaps avoided ever again to attempt crossing the bridge to my true self. The true self I speak of is the Self I’ve hidden for all these years under tons of layers of cement. The layers represent how deeply I bought into the stuck and negative way of thinking. I digress but for good reason… Anyway, after the kids were dropped at school I went about my morning  chores and everything was easy, oddly unusual yet graceful. I got so much done in merely an hour! Then I felt a quickening in the air, my heart began to beat very fast, my head began to swim and I knew I needed to reach out to someone to be with me as I grappled with my emerging new self or be lost forever.

I sent my guide a text message saying that I was about to open a door and walk through to a place way beyond the point of no return. I needed the wisdom and witnessing of one who had gone before me. As I typed this message, I was at once elated and frightened. The relief I felt was palpable when Nancy immediately texted me back and said we could talk now for a few minutes. I dialed her. It is with my highest praise and appreciation that Nancy was on the other end! She reminded me that fear and excitement stem from the very same arena, like a cup being half full vs half empty. Nancy has such a confident and calming way about her. Her presence allowed me to relax and to remember to breathe deeply. I totally surrendered myself to the moment knowing Nancy had my back. Trust.

I had previously recorded my DMP to music. The song I chose is A Thousand Years by Christina Perri. When I had read my DMP, repeating each line three times, with ENTHUSIASM, I was inspired to speak to myself using the voice of my future self during the musical interludes. Here is my future self speaking to me in the present.

“Julie, I can’t wait until you come and meet me, so I can hold you by your hand. This Thousand Year song is dedicated from me, your future Julie, to you now. I reach out and hold out both of my hands to you, Julie. I’ve loved you for a thousand years and I’ll love you for a thousand more. You are very beautiful, Julie. You keep doing what you’re doing. God bless you. I think it’s amazing that you’ve been Baptized. It’s amazing you are gathering your friends to you. Look at what you are creating! I’m so proud of who you are becoming! I’m right here; you just have to reach out your hands to me. I am not a stranger! I love you, Julie. I am your future self. I’m moving one step closer to you and you are moving one step closer to me. Reach Out! I’m right here. I’m right here! I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy. I Love You, Julie. See you in the future. It looks great up here!” Recording these words and then listening to the recording on a daily basis fueled my courage to enable me to cross the gap between my tiny self and my Future/Higher Self. With this basic training accomplished and I had my guide in the bleachers, as it were, I felt at ease enough to allow the melding of my current tiny self to my Higher Self.

“This is your Divine Appointment, Julie.” Nancy said to me as I became further enveloped by my Higher Self. Also I remember her reminding me that once a mind and heart have experienced expansion, one never goes back to the old ways. My Future Self, that part of me which is open to being in the flow, began to fill my beingness with light and love so much so as to allow the entirety of me to freely join into the rhythm and song of the Universe. OMG! Such an incredible experience !!! I am unable even now put it all properly into words. Elation, heart expansion, laughter and tears in the same moment, tenderness, feeling power surge through my deepest being, gratitude, a shattering away of a mighty large chunk of my cement armor, it simply feel away, no pain or remorse, it departed gracefully and there I stood in awe.

In the middle of this life altering moment, my son stopped in quickly on his lunch break from school. He’d forgotten a report he needed at school. I greeted him and his friend. Then they went to collect his report and as my son & his friend scooted out of the door, I stopped, mid-stream of the Universal Flow and asked my son to take out the rubbish and place it in the bin outside. Interesting that I bridged both my inner and outer worlds without so much as a wobble. Hmm not bad for the first spin around the block. Anyway, once the boys headed back to school, I was able to create a proper closure of my divine appointment with the kind assistance from my wonderful guide. “You have crossed the bridge to the other side, you and your future self have now melded. Welcome friend.” These were the precious words Nancy said to me.

Thank you, Nancy from the depths of my heart!

Thank you, Higher Self. You are so right everything looks great from up here!

 

MKE Week 10 – Primary Plus 1, Baptism by Water!

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This is the sight that I see each morning, afternoon and evening when I go to the sink in my kitchen. Where I go to clean, wash dishes, sweep and mop the floor, cook, snack, argue, have serious discussions, have ephianies, laugh over the events of the day, hear the latest news, view the hottest fashions, sported by my In crowd teenagers, learn to carry huge amounts of stuff in and out of the kitchen door, hug friends, have romantic candle lit dinners, cradle babies, soothe an upset teenager or two and other such life events that occur around hearth and home. Yes, the kitchen is baptism by fire, by air and water. Oops! I digress, what I meant to say was: I have these four shapes in three dimension to effortlessly remind me of the direction I am choosing to go. They act as sentinels to stand guard over the relentless tiny self who has reigned over my life for far too long.

Yes, they are there as sentinels … and yet so many times, even within the space of one hour .. I forget. Then my tiny self takes its advantage and leverages its addiction for the crazy, out of control , anger based peptides. And next thing I know I’m off into a rage of anger, hurt and other such negative issues. It happens far too often that the anger peptides win! Dagnabbit!! 1 breathe, 2 inhale, 3  exhale, 4 breathe, 5 inhale, 6 exhale,  7 breathe, just 7 measley seconds,  seven seconds!, REALLY?? WELL ALRIGHTY THEN!  If it’s seven seconds then I’m only allowed seven seconds. PERIOD. It’s  all I’m allotted for a negative thought to be present. Either, I shift to a neutral or positive thought OR I must reset my Mental Diet and begin my count right from zero  again and again and yet again so I may gain my 7 DAYS TO FREEDOM!

Well, at least I can pat myself on the back with an honest congratulations. My longest time without a negative thought was 16 hours (8 of those hours were when I was asleep, a dreamless sleep at that). I’m proud of myself for that accomplishment because in that last hour of the 16, I actually used the 7 second rule successfully twice! Then Bang!  Snap! I broke into a rant about the kids having not done the dishes properly. Start again. Even got myself whipped into a frenzy of tossing the Tupperware  around the kitchen! Start again! Holy moley! I’d only locked my tiny self down for 16 hours and she was gonna have her anger peptides and she was gonna have her anger fix real good.

My, my, my those peptides and the tiny self …what a strong bond they have! It is as if the longer I hold on to my commitment to the 7 Day Mental Diet, the harder and more crafty my tiny self  becomes. She plots, plans and creates mayhem that erupts like lava all over my nicely polished ideals!

I was so relieved on the 1st of December when we got to open Scroll III. All I can say is: Thank God for Scroll III! “I will persist until I succeed.” Those words of wisdom from Og are a breath of fresh air to this drowning rat of a person called Julie. The knowledge that I will persist until I succeed went straight to my soul and tears of joy, relief and a new found resolve weld up inside of me. I cried. Good tears, of course. I gave up a prayer of thanks to God for leading me to this course. Wow! What an epiphany!

Then of course there is dear, deep Haanel … this week’s sit of visualizing a cone coming towards me in assorted colors! How cool is that? When I am able to fully see these visions at my command. BAM! Then I’ll know for sure I’ve mastered something amazing and powerful! WOW! Once I master this visualization then I know I can create anything that I’d like! Anything I can imagine!  Anything at all! It’ll be like snapping my fingers! And there it will be! The only limitations will be the limitations I place on what is possible!  Incredible!  We are only at the beginning of the second trimester! Funny how that sounds so much like growing a baby. I do believe that once this course is completed I’ll feel just like that – a new born baby. With a whole new view of Life and what is possible and of what I am able to create.

Speaking of being reborn, as a huge aside I was baptized November 24, 2016. On reflection, this baptism day coincided with an enormous effort on the part of my tiny self to keep to familiar ground, to not rock the boat, to be all normal and everything.  My teenage son came with me to the church, even though he is agnostic. As we got nearer to the church, he decided he didn’t want to come in to church. He’d simply wait for me out in the car. What did you say?!! (Enter tiny self.) I was just about to blow my top… you mean you came all this way… only to… but then, no! No! No way! This is so not going to happen! You, yeah you over there, tiny self. You are going to listen to me. You are going to stop this unruly behavior, immediately! You are not gong to ruin or even get close to stopping my baptism!  My new self found her strength!  Oh yeah!

In no uncertain terms was this situation going to turn into a shouting match! I decided my new self was going to win this one! So, I came to a gentle and calm agreement with my son, he would stay in the car and when it came time for my Baptisim he’d be called in  by someone from the church. He agreed to that. Whew! Storm of tiny self averted! Then, my tiny self made yet another attempt to derail my plans. When I walked into the church I was suddenly overcome with self doubt. I had extremely strong second thoughts about what I was about to do. Was getting baptized the right thing for me to do or not? Tears of frustration, tears of fear, tears of uncertainty.  After all, my own flesh and blood was sitting right outside, in my car, no less. He was not even going to grace the threshold of the church. Let alone allow himself to partake of a Sunday sermon. Then I saw Willie, the elder who had agreed to baptize me. I then calmed right down. We discussed baptism. I discovered that baptism is not a commitment to the church per say, it is a baptism to open my heart to God and to do His work, the most important work. John 6:14 “The work of God is this: to believe in the one He has sent.” Then we went to church to listen to the service and to sing to the glory of the Lord. You know what? The entire service was exactly what I needed to hear. It spoke directly to my heart, to my soul. It was as if the good Lord knew what was required, what I needed. The service was all about forgiveness and offering oneself up to service, service isn’t about being subservient… not at all! The service being spoken of is in Service to the most high; the universal flow, that sort service. Then the sermon went on to discuss the depth and truth of being forgiven, by God and His Son, Jesus Christ. Perfect in every way!

At communion time, I was asked by (pronounced Jen-nAy) Jena, the elder’s wife, to excuse myself. Jena walked with me to the changing room. There I prepared myself in clothes that I could get wet, clothes in which I would be reborn.  I was instructed as to what to expect, where to walk, etc.  I was asked to come out from the changing room to take my short walk to the baptism pool and to my surprise and delight, the entire congregation was there! And there was my son too! Thank God! I couldn’t have been more filled with joy! I was gently guided to the baptism pool by Jena. Then Willie, my elder took my other hand and helped me walk down the steps into the baptism pool. He said a few words to the congregation. Then he turned to me and looked deep in my eyes and asked me an important question and only one question.

“Do you believe that Jesus is the son of God?” I answered, “Yes.” And it is done.

God is good.

 

 

 

MKE Week One – derfull!!

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The Beginning of a Beautiful Thing!

Ok, ok , ok I say … I can do this , I CAN DO THIS … Pause … An extremely loong….. … P a u s e … Perhaps a pair or two of cat paws would be preferable to this!!! This Goddess Almighty Boot Camp!! (Did I really sign up for this??) Now, remember Julie you “Willingly signed up for this … Remember?” So now I understand what the true meaning of CRAZY is!!!

No WAIT!!! I am awaking on day two AND I actually feel a sense of something new and exciting growing within me …. Is it hope? … Can it be … Belief in me?? … Is it a budding and blossoming enthusiasm? ? ? Or is it a glimpse of WHO I TRULY BE??? !!!!

Ok, ok, OKAY! OKAY!!! GO AHEAD and COUNT ME IN!!!

PS Please fasten your seatbelts and stick your courage to the sticking point. I have an idea THIS is going to be one heck of a ride!! WOW! What a journey so far and it hasn’t even been an entire week!! What a what … what a journey!!

I call this a safari to my soul!!

Please stay tuned while I get myself adjusted… I have to get my brain, my doing-ness, my being-ness, my heart and ALL that I AM to completely gather together to allow and agree for me in my entirety to be on the same page.

As they say in Swahili … Safari njema!! Rafiki yango! (Translation to English is: Please have a great journey connected with the ones you love  – those in your family and close friends) (My Friend)

SAFARI NJEMA! RAFIKI YANGO!